Rant warning!
Regular readers will know that I spend half my life traveling to and from London, and some of you will be aware of the many things which conspire to make those journeys as miserable as possible. If it’s not the 30 year old rolling stock (which Virgin Mainline decided were too old for them to keep using) breaking down, Pikies nicking the copper wire or trees falling on the overheads, it’s the wrong kind of snow/rain/sun* (*select as applicable). Now a new and even more despicable event has entered the fray. This one catches you unawares by striking AFTER you have got back to Norwich, it’s the automatic barriers on the platform, or rather the bio-ware barrier control executive who mans them.
Norwich station introduced the automatic barriers over a year ago, and they’ve not been able to read most of the tickets since they were installed. They’re fine for the day trip riff-raff, who only use their tickets once, but for us hardened commuters who spend nearly £8,000 a year for the privilege, they stop working after day 2.
The problem is that the mag strip on the back doesn’t like being near anything electrical (phone, blackberry, i-pod, lightning, whatever), and the ticket machine reciprocates by refusing to read it. It took us a few weeks but we managed to train the guys manning the gates that this was the case and that they could let us through by using old technology and reading the expiry dates and journey details which are thoughtfully printed on the front of every ticket (neat that).
Until this week!
Last night having been delayed yet again I arrived back home, late and tired, went to the manned barrier and showed him my ticket.
Him – “you’ve got to put it in the machine”
Me – “it doesn’t work”
Him – “you’ve got to put it in the machine”
Me – “it doesn’t work”
Him – “please put it in the machine Sir”
Me – “OK, but it doesn’t work”
Him – “It doesn’t work, I’ll pass you though”
Me – “I knew that”
So tonight when I arrived, and seeing it was the same person manning the barrier (who incidentally, says “good morning” to me most days when he is on earlies, and “Hi” most evenings when he is on lates), I showed him my ticket.
Him – “you’ve got to put it in the machine”
Me – “it doesn’t work”
Him – “you’ve got to put it in the machine”
Me – “it didn’t work yesterday, so it won’t work tonight”
Him – “I know that, but please put it in the machine Sir”
Me – “Why?”
Him – “Instructions! We have to try every ticket because the machine counts how many times the ticket has been used “
Me – “I fully understand that, and I appreciate you taking the time to explain it to me” (or something similar)
Him – “It doesn’t work, I’ll pass you though”
Me – “We both knew that”
Now I can understand that they want to catch the thieving gutter trash who use the train without paying, and the cheats who pass their ticket back to a mate for them to use as well, but my ticket is only valid with a photo id. Surely it’s not beyond the wit of management to allow their bio-ware to apply a bit of common sense and trust and when some poor sap who has been screwed out of 8 grand says “it won’t work”, to look at the ticket, look at the photo and say “that’s not a problem sir, let me pass you through as I can see you’ve had another shit day commuting to and from London”.
Or maybe it is
Happy journeys
Norfolk’n'Good
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